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I found myself on a bus one day and was eavesdropping on the conversation of two young boys earnestly discussing their social lives…

Boy 1: “What do you belong to?”

Boy 2: “I’m in the UDA Junior Red-Hand Commando Association, the Boys …

Some mustn’t-have suggestions for things not to buy me this, or any, Christmas.

A Camelbak rucksac (sic): a bag so small that it can only hold 250ml of osmotic potential high-energy sports drink. My advice is to fill it with warm …

I’ve lived next door to some very odd specimens of homo sapiens.

There was the man who had apparently been shellshocked in the war. Cialis Soft Tabs are taken under the tongue as needed 15min before sexual activity. BuyCheap Cialis Pharmacy …

On his way back from the appointment, he looked out of the rain-streaked tubetrain window at a giant airliner taking off from a runway beside the track. It appeared hardly to be moving; to just hang there. Knowing all about …

Macbeth (Act 2 scene 3):

Macduff: What three things does drink especially promote?
Porter: Marry sir, nose-painting, sleep, and urine.

The three most terrible hangovers of all time all happened to me. It’s not like they just happened of course, I had something …

Before Miss Ritchie’s P1 class in 1965, I could read individual words like ‘bus’ and thought myself clever for being able to distinguish between god and dog (actually p,q,b,9,d,g can still get me confused, 90b help me). I was then …

It’s 1:30pm on a Friday in 1972. I’m wearing a maroon and black segmented school cap which doesn’t even come close to fitting my 12-year old head (It wouldn’t have fitted my 6 year-old head but I’m learning that uniform …

Experience
2001- *****-**** Ltd
As a Director of this high-technology startup company, I get to work from home and make the coffee, decorate and babysit. I also have to talk to a small number of customers and astronomical numbers of doltish sceptics …

I dislike several things about text. One of the most annoying aspects is its linearity. You have to wait until one of those point things before you can start to understand what the most recent bit was about….by which time, …

0:00 Midnight and I’m still not asleep. The LED’s blink back at me across the bedroom as I iterate my mental checklist of things-that-urgently-need-to-be-stewed-upon.

0:07 I begin an alphabetic list of favourite films, beginning with ‘Bond’ but only get as far …